Another day of the CNY.. Gambling again.. at 1st win.. Then start to lose after my mum's phone call. Lose how much i dun really know.. But if i not mistake, roughly RM50 like tat lo..
And tonight really soi ar.. My car bodykit.. Kena the road ba.. Now my front skirt damage.. sien ar..
CNY.. Gamble everyday.. 1st day, lose till face black black.. 2nd day, win till face smile smile.. 3rd day, lose a bit nia.. Bo Shu.. haha..
3rd day of the CNY was Kate's 21st bday, previously, we celebrate our bday together but this year, i think she dun feel like seeing me and welcome me at all. Since like tat, I just sent over the things that i prepared for her over to where she was and f**k off from her sight and run to core with frens.
1st day of CNY. As usual, woke up early in the morning and go grandma house as visiting. Came back waiting for frens and relative to come. Going out with frens since afternoon till now. Exhausted.
The only different for this year is i visited frens house during the 1st day. For the past few years, i'll only visit frens house starting on the 2nd day and the house that i'll visit during the 1st day was grandma house and my love one(Kate)'s house. Seems like i dun have the chance to visit her this year. Who to blame? Of coz is I myself.
Where was Kate? Where's Kate? Miss her so much. Kate, Nicholas Love You.
I'm hereby to wish everyone Happy Chinese New Year. To be honest, this year is the 1st time i welcomed Chinese New Year in such down mood i would say. Where should i start to say..
Erm.. CNY eve, after firework, i was alone in moody condition. Think back of 'Where was i for the previous CNY eve..' Tat was so sweet and unforgetable. I tot i was part of Kate's family. But bcoz of the mistake i made last year, i ruined the relationship. Thinking of tat, i really regret on wat i had done to Kate in the previous year. Sorry Kate. Sorry. If there's another chance for me, i promise, i promise i wont be like tat anymore. And i start to drink my dad's X.O. A fren of mine(Jason) knew that i was moody and concern bout me, he come over my place to fetch me up to go for drinks at Impalema(if i din spell wrongly) as accompany me. Of coz Baron and Afshyn go over to accompany me too. Thx.
'New year, New wish, New hope.' The only wish, hope i have this year is to recover with Kate and can be with Kate till the very last breathe of mine. Will my wish come true? I'm not greedy, this is my ONLY wish.
How do I, Get through one night without you? If I had to live without you, What kind of life would that be? Oh, I... I need you in my arms, need you to hold, You're my world, my heart, my soul, If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything good in my life, And tell me now How do I live without you? I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live? Without you, There'd be no sun in my sky, There would be no love in my life, There'd be no world left for me. And I, Baby I don't know what I would do, I'd be lost if I lost you, If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything real in my life, And tell me now, How do I live without you? I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live? Please tell me baby, How do I go on? If you ever leave, Baby you would take away everything, I need you with me, Baby don't you know that you're everything, Good in my life? And tell me now, How do I live without you, I want to know, How do I breathe without you? If you ever go, How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live? How do I live without you? How do I live without you baby?
I'm hereby to apologise on the mistake i made. It might be late but if you accept my apologise, there's nothing such as too late to apologise. Right?
In the past 3 years, I really did a lots of things that let you worried, unhappy and angry. Really Sorry bout that. The worst thing happened on the 14 June 2008. I really very Sorry bout the incident. i shouldn't be so bad tempered. Sorry my dear. I really blame myself on what i had done. Really very very Sorry bout that. I promise. I promise i won't be like tat anymore. I promise i'll love you more and more. Just, pls.. Pls give me another chances to be with you. Pls..
Why no one wanna listen to my explaination? Why no one trust me? Small piggy dear, my parents. Why none of you trust me?
Small piggy, i really din follow u. i really din 跟踪 you. Why you dun trust me? i know where to find you and know where are you not because i follow you or go forum or some other blog to know it. I know it by feel it. I can feel where are you. Why you can't just listen to my explaination? Why you just can trust me? And i find you not because i'm a control freak, but bcoz i concern bout you. I trust you. I fully trust you. But i'll worried bout you when you dun wanna answer my call.
And parents, i really wanna be a good son. i really do wake up early in the morning but just a few minutes late from the time you said. But you dun wait for me. I know I'm wrong for my late, but why you just can't wait for me awhile? I really feel sorry for my late and fail to make what i had promise.
Why none of you wanna listen to my explaination and trust me? Why?
Why none of you wanna listen to me and yet see things only on ur own view..? Can pls see things on my point of view.? Can pls listen to my explaination and trust me? If I dun love you, i wont care so much. And yet i not being trust by the one I love. I believe that no one will be able to understand my feeling now. I know. I know small piggy dear dun love me anymore and trying very hard to give up me. But I can swear to the world that my love to small piggy dear Kate is 100%. What i wish, what i hope and what i pray everyday is to recover with small piggy dear Kate. Without you, my life is misearable. As what i said previously, I totally lost in my life. 我完完全全迷失了在人生的道路.
This is my 1st post and yet i dunno wat to post. Since the day my small piggy dear left me, i totally lost in my life. I can't see any future of mine and can't find any reason for myself to be happy. Can anyone pls tell me wat's the purpose of waking up everyday without any living target and future?
Small piggy, I never know how much you mean to me until the day you leave me. Everyday i wake up i pray for the same thing. Pray tat this is the day that you can forgive me and recover with me. Will my wish come true? I can hardly sleep everyday but once i sleep, i dun feel like waking up bcoz whenever i sleep, i dream of you and once i awake, u're gone. Pls.. Pls come back to me in real life. i'll be right here waiting. It's not easy for us to build up this relationship. Pls.. Pls dun give up.
