Again..

Bz for whole day.. finally i back here and blog again..

These days, my heart seems to be getting worst.. Everyday bully me till i cant stand and have to take the stupid medicine. Even after take, still pain. Seems tat doesnt really works. Last nite, again i took. Then i feel so sick and sleep be4 9P.M. till this morning 9 something then awake.

Previously i very scared of this sickness coz it might end up go for operation. I not making up the story but it was said by Doctor Wong. He's a heart specialist in Kuching. As i know, there were 2 cases which the same sickness as mine. 1 of them is now a normal person having a normal life. BUT.. The other 1, passed away not long after the operation. This means tat, 50 50 la.. I ever very scared of the operation, I rather suffer for it coz I scared i'll lost someone IF the operation fail. But now, even though I din take the risk, I had lost her. So, now just depend on the situation. If really have to admit for operation, just go ahead. How's the result be, it nothing much different to me.

why life so suffering?

last nite, I Finally took those stupid medicine given by the heart specialist.. dunno which to take, might as well took all.. but seems tat medicine doesn't really works on it anymore. after taken, it still pain like hell till this noon time. I was asking myself How many more sunshine can i enjoy? none of us know.. But it's a good thing tat we dunno everything.
Keep on saying dunno to others.. am i really dunno.. how i hope so.. why god so cruel..let me know something i dun wish to know, yet dun let me know those things i wanna know..
Suddenly.. Suddenly i turn speechless.. suddenly i being freezed.. it just like a sunny day suddenly turn cloudy day then thunderstorm coming.
Who can be blame? it's me. myself. like wat Mariah Carey said,

Dun ever take anybody for granted, coz you never know wat you might lost someday, and you'll never get a chance to tell them how you really feel.

pls understand it be4 it's too late. Now i understand and i know wat i should do and be. But, It's too late..

5th months

Today, 6th April 2009. Broke up for 5 months dy.. But still cant put down. Think of her everyday.. Miss her every second.

Went spring fetch a fren last nite, saw her car 1st then saw her with her frens sitting outside secret recipe. I guess she saw me. But these days, we're both are like stranger to each other. Few days ago, we drove pass each other on the road, as if we dunno each other. That kind of feeling.. i guess none of you will understand. From stranger --> fren --> love one --> fren --> stranger. Will this cycle back to me and her..? i dun wan the complete set but just 60% of it is enough. just stop by love one. Hope for it and Pray for it. When will the day come..?

p/s: Dear reader, pls pray for me ya.. Thx.